Come for the puns. Stay for the productivity.
Stop arguing withChatGPT.
Asiago cuts the crap.
An AI agent for people who'd rather be doing literally anything else.
Handles your email, calendar, phone, and research. End-to-end. While you live.
Sharp. Aged. Italian. Surprisingly versatile.
7-day free trial · No credit card · Cancel anytime
asiagoOr try one
Manifesto
We're not building AGI.
We're handling your damn email.
Different sport.
Universal truth
Different AI.
Different delivery driver.
You know the type.
Hand-writes you a thoughtful note about your package. Package is in another zip code.
Rings, signs for you, politely explains all the ways your box could be more efficient.
“Delivered.” Photo of someone else’s door. No package.
Tossed in the bushes. Marked delivered.
Arrives loud. You didn’t order from DHL.
Drops it on your porch. Texts you. Done.
Same task. Six very different porches.
What's on the cheese board
Less chat. More cheddar.
Most AI tools give you answers. Asiago gives you outcomes — sliced, plated, and sent.
Email, sliced thin.
Reads, drafts, replies, files. In your voice. IMAP/SMTP — works with the inbox you already have.
Calendar, aged sharp.
Schedules across time zones, protects focus blocks, preps briefing notes the night before.
Phone, first-party.
Asiago has its own number. It calls vendors, reschedules appointments, sits on hold so you don't. Always picks up the gouda calls.
Research, deep cut.
Real browser, real research. Compares vendors, pulls data, reads articles, comes back with a briefing — not a link dump.
Files, properly aged.
Drafts contracts from your notes, formats decks, organizes screenshots, files everything where it belongs. Brielliant.
Routines, on cron.
Schedule things to fire while you sleep. Morning briefings. Overnight monitoring. Weekly reports — handled.
Watch it work
Send a task.
Eat the cheddar.
Real things people send to Asiago. Each one finished while they did something else.
Sent to Asiago
“Book me a flight to NYC next Tuesday, under $400, refundable.”
What Asiago did
Result
3 min 12 sec
Booked. JetBlue 1027, Tue 7:42 AM EWR → JFK. $362, fully refundable. Confirmation in your inbox.
Pairing chart
Asiago pairs with.
A field guide.
Pairs poorly with: low-stakes meetings, surveillance capitalism, naming your AI “Atlas.”
Time saved · cheddar earned
More cheddar.
Less churn.
8 hrs
saved per week
Scheduling
3 hrs
saved per week
Monthly cheddar
$4,417
at $100/hr blended rate
Yearly ROI
44×
vs. the Wedge plan
30-day guarantee — save 5+ hours/month or we refund the cheddar.
From curd to wedge
Aged to perfection.
In three steps.
Connect your tools
Plug in email, calendar, the apps you already use. 90 seconds. No bib required.
Tell it your style
A short onboarding — how you write, what to prioritize, what to ignore. Ages with you.
Send it the task
Type, voice, or email Asiago. It takes it from there. Asks only when it has to.
Anti-features
Here's what we left out.
On purpose.
If you wanted to keep chatting with AI, you wouldn't be here.
Hot take
“AI is mostly a chatbot with extra steps.
Asiago skipped the steps.”
— us, on the internet
Tasting notes
The Asiago experience,
decanted.
Note №1
“Sharp on details.”
Notes of: focused mornings, sent invoices, calendars that respect lunch.
Best enjoyed: weeknights and right after coffee.
Note №2
“Pairs with frantic Mondays.”
Notes of: triaged inboxes, scheduled standups, follow-ups already sent.
Best enjoyed: when the week is already on fire.
Note №3
“Aged for the always-on.”
Notes of: cron routines, overnight monitoring, briefings before sunrise.
Best enjoyed: while you sleep.
Why a cheese name?
Other AI: chatbot.
Asiago: cheese plate.
Aged
Gets sharper with use. Learns your style.
Sharp
Doesn't crumble under pressure. Doesn't dumb things down.
Italian
Confident. Particular about quality. Knows what it likes.
Pairs
Works with almost anything. Email, calendar, phone, browser.
The name comes from a 1,000-year-old Italian cheese. The product runs your day. We just liked how the two felt together.
Wait — did you come here for the actual cheese?
A full, hilarious-but-true history of Asiago the cheese.
Pairs well with
The whole cheese board.
Plugs into the tools you already live in.
Don't settle for processed
A chatbot answers.
Asiago handles it.
Aged in our cellar
Private by architecture.
Not by policy.
Your conversations don't train any model. Your inbox isn't a dataset. Aged in our cellar, never in someone else's training set — encrypted in transit, encrypted at rest, isolated per account. No exceptions, no asterisks.
Pricing
Simple. No holes.
7-day free trial. No credit card. Cancel anytime.
Curds
starter slice
Fresh from the dairy. See if it gets it.
- ✓Unlimited messages
- ✓3 custom agents
- ✓5 scheduled routines
- ✓50 web browsing tasks / mo
- ✓5 GB storage · 90-day history
- ✓Email support
Wedge
the daily driver
Aged sharp. For people who run on full.
- ✓Unlimited messages + browsing
- ✓25 custom agents
- ✓50 scheduled routines
- ✓1 phone number · 1,000 SMS · 400 min
- ✓100 GB storage · 2-year history
- ✓API access · 48-hr support
Wheel
the whole thing
Bring the wheel. For teams that move fast.
- ✓Unlimited everything
- ✓100 custom agents
- ✓3 phone numbers · 10k SMS · 4k min
- ✓1 TB storage · unlimited history
- ✓Full API (read + write)
- ✓Priority 24-hr support
All plans include 47 pre-built expert agents. 30-day money-back guarantee if you don't save 5+ hours per month.
Ready to cut the crap?
Sharp by name. Sharper by nature.
Free for 7 days. No card. Cancel anytime.
Aged in our cellar. Never trained on you.